“You cannot build a relationship on wanting somebody to be what they are not. So “lost love” or “love lost,” is better gone; it probably never existed.”
-William Wilde
Editorial by William Wilde for Paradigm Magazine & Photograph by Michal Martychowiec
‘Lost Love’
Theo asked me to talk to you about many subjects, one of them being, as Theo put it, “love lost;” as I would say, lost love. Gentlemen, it doesn’t exist. Really look at it. It is mostly a one night passion, a few weeks romance, or no passion. The only time love is lost is when the reaper takes your partner away, which is incredibly sad. Everything else is in our imagination when we are feeling down or lonely: it is the “if only” syndrome … if only I’d done this, if only I’d done that. There are reasons for the lost passion: moral ones, convenience and “well, maybe.” It never happened mostly because the other person wasn’t right, the situation wasn’t right. You cannot build a relationship on sex alone. You cannot build a relationship on wanting somebody to be what they are not. So “lost love” or “love lost,” is better gone; it probably never existed.
An example. She was quite extraordinary, sex poured into a pair of jeans and the longest legs I’ve ever seen. When I met her in the Portobello Rd introduced by some friends she was really very rude. “Who did I think I was? She had seen me around and I was arrogant.” All I’d said was how are you. I was young then, and quite hurt. Why had this beautiful creature attacked me. I found out later, she thought I was sex poured into a suit. The next time I met her was at the same friends’ over coffee. She was charming, funny and warm.
She had a wilde streak; her husband was a very famous rock star: she came from that rock and roll world. I knew she would be at my friends’ for coffee, so I arranged to be there a few times. We used to look at each other and make polite conversation, but we were devouring each other, politely. I discreetly arranged to meet her just off the Kings Rd for lunch. She told our friends: all hell broke loose. They told me I was making trouble in her life, she’d got enough dealing with her husband and their lifestyle. So I got them to phone her and cancel the date. I saw her around afterwards, we nodded at each other. She was obviously hurt, but I thought, yes, I’ve done the right thing.
Gentlemen, that isn’t a lost love. It’s a lost ….
I rest my case.
Mind you, she did make me laugh. And she was sex on legs, and that wilde streak could have been tamed; she was very warm and maybe .. maybe at 3 o’clock in the morning when I can’t sleep, a big maybe.
Gentlemen, you can’t win.
